After 5 years of marriage and over 10 years together, here’s some marriage advice that we’ve learned along the way. We’re not perfect and we don’t claim to be.

If you’ve been lucky enough to meet Alex, you know he’s a special guy. He’s the reason I know that true love exists and the reason I love documenting love so much. I want every single human to find their version of Alex; their version of peace.

As a wedding photographer, I hear all of the cliche pieces of advice, some of them, very valid. But, I’ve got a few things to add. Here are mine and Alex’s ten pieces of practical advice for getting your relationship to grow to ten years (and hopefully many, many more).

10 Pieces of marriage advice that has made a difference for us:

1. Live together before getting married, or even engaged. You don’t TRULY know someone until you’ve lived with them.
2. Fall in love with yourself first. How can your partner know what makes you happy if YOU don’t even know?
3. You don’t have to go to bed at the same time. We have wildly different sleep schedules, but we use that time as our personal time, to do things WE love.
4. Say please, thank you, and you’re welcome, always. It feels different hearing “hey babe can you please turn over the laundry?” Followed by a “thank you for doing that for us!” Rather than a single “turn over the laundry”.
5. Find a way to make each other laugh every day. Bonus points if you write down the funniest thing from each day.
6. Be their number one fan. Do I bet on Fantasy Sports? Hell no. But you better believe I listen to every live cast Alex is on. He also looks at almost every gallery I shoot.
7. Accept, and hope, that your partner will not be the same person you started dating 10 years ago. We’re incredibly different people than we were in 2012, and we’re better for it. Love your partner in all the seasons of life.
8. (Skip this one Mom) Talk about sex. For god’s sake talk about what you like and don’t like. PLEASE.
9. Travel separately as well as together. Not every trip needs to be for the two of you.
10. Learn the 5-5-5 rule. Ask yourself “will it matter in 5 minutes, will it matter in 5 months, will it matter in 5 years” when there is an argument. Basically, is something that won’t matter in 5 minutes, worth fighting about? Find a way to have a CONVERSATION about it instead.

Honorable Mention: Read the book Eight Dates together. This book was recommended to me by my best friend. It changed the way we communicate, for the better. This book has 8 different topics with 8 date suggestions to do that go along with the theme of that specific chapter. This book is great for ANY phase of life, not just married couples. The only catch? You have to come to each date ready to be vulnerable. https://a.co/d/5ktBLSp

You don’t have to agree with any of this marriage advice, but these are what have kept us growing and loving each other more and more every year.